The Work ( 4 Questions )

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An Introduction to The Work of Byron Katie

In this short article I would like to introduce you to the Work of Byron Katie, a woman in her late SO’s from Barstow, California who, at the age of 43, in a halfway house for people with eating disorders, had a spontaneous awakening into her true nature. Since then she has travelled the world teaching. Her method is simple, yet powerful and can be learnt in minutes. I have been able to demonstrate it to counsellors, therapists, supervisors, management consultants and ministers around the world, even whilst recognising that Katie can speak with far greater authority and fluency that comes from her own personal experience.

What I have enjoyed is how quickly people ‘get’ it, often translating it into their own language. I do believe, however, that The Work is different from therapy, although there is no question that it is therapeutic, and I will explore why I believe this. As well as introducing you to what she calls The Work and its application to us in the different therapy professions, I will also look at her work in relation to the victim archetype which I have spent the last seven years researching through the notions of revenge and forgiveness.

As I see it, one of the cornerstones of The Work is the understanding and acceptance that we continually judge others and ourselves. Katie says we have been told not to judge for thousands of years and it hasn’t worked. So we are invited to judge another, say what makes us angry, disappointed, frustrated; how we think they should be different or what they should do differently; what we think of them – really letting rip, labelling them in any way that comes to mind. We are invited to do this on paper, on a specially designed worksheet.

The writing is important because the process is an enquiry into our thinking and our minds work so fast. By writing we commit ourselves and cannot subsequently wriggle so easily. The enquiry takes the form of four questions and a turnaround. The turnaround, and there can be more than one, is similar to reowning the projections which we have been asked to make. This can be very powerful when we see how the label, which we have been so sure fits the other, applies to us. The questions and the turnaround help us begin to loosen our attachment to erroneous core beliefs about ourselves and the world.

The four questions are:

1. Is it true?

2. Can you. really know that it’s true?

3. How do you react when you attach to that thought/belief?

3a Can you see a reason to drop it?

3b Can you see a peaceful reason to keep it?)

4. Who or how would you be without that thought/belief?

Another cornerstone of her work is ‘what is, is’, encouraging us to embrace reality as it appears moment to moment. So simple, but it is the arguing with reality that gets us into trouble. ‘He shouldn’t have done that’ or ‘the world should be different’ or whatever. She says, ‘When I argue with reality, I lose, but only 100% of the time.’

This non-acceptance of “what is” often combines with a core belief. So, for example, if someone misses an appointment, this of itself is not such a huge deal unless it combines with a core belief of, say, people always let you down in the end. We use the simple fact of a missed appointment as proof of our core belief. Through enquiry – or The Work, we investigate.

For example:

I am angry with X because he let me down.

Is that true?

Well he failed to keep his word.

Is it really true he let you down?

Yes, I felt really let down.

You felt let down, but is it true he let you down? Can you really know that?

No I can’t really know that. He may have had good reasons and no intention of letting me down.
(It’s fine if the person says yes to this bit. We continue with the questions)

How do you react when you attach to that thought he let me down?

I feel disappointed and hurt.

Do you see a reason to drop this thought/ belief?
Yes.

A peaceful reason to keep it?
No.

Who would you be without it?

More relaxed around him. I would just ask what happened.

We do this with the whole worksheet, with up to ten or fifteen statements. After we have done it for a few statements, the person often begins to see how they have been jumping to conclusions that do not serve them. What is a wonderful feature of this process is that as the penny drops, and we realise how much of our problems are self-created, we begin to laugh at ourselves. Humour often features prominently, and it is an aspect of the process that really attracts me.

An example is a friend who was doing The Work with a woman and her husband. The woman was adamant that her story about him was true, saw no reason to drop her story, until the final question “who would you be without it ( the tought” ). She suddenly realised she would be more peaceful and from that understanding her whole relationship changed.

Who would you be without your story? – one of Katie’s questions that challenges us to the core of our imagined identities.

Just try it for yourself.

I have attached Katies Worksheets so you can download them and start right away with writing. Believe me, it works very fast and it’s a big relief.

Download HERE the Worksheet for the 4 Questions that will Change your Life