Have you ever had an experience that could only be labeled “bittersweet”? Well, I have…one that left me both saddened and happy, as strange as that may sound.
As those of you who know me are aware, I have kept company with a ghost for all of my life, a ghost who was apparently here long before my family purchased our home, back in the 1930's. I have related a lot of the strange things that have happened in regard to this spirit, and there are many more that have not yet been told. But…it seems that after all this time, our spirit has decided to cross over into the next realm, discovering whatever is waiting ahead for him there.
As I said, I am both happy and sad. Sad that he will no longer be a resident in my home. He has been, oddly enough, like a family member to me-I have grown up with his presence, and have come to welcome the manifestations he made.
This may sound strange to those of you who see ghosts as fearful things-and I am sure that in some circumstances, the fear may be justified. But this spirit has been a comfort, a usually unseen presence here. I had come to regard him as a protector, of sorts.
However, due to the things I have learned through my personal experiences over the last few years, dealing with the loss of loved ones, and the tragic early deaths of those I know, I began to feel selfish. I enjoyed knowing this spirit was here, felt comforted by his presence. But I realized that I had not taken into consideration HIS emotions, his needs. I had always simply assumed that he was here of his own violation, not trapped, since he seemed to be such a benevolent, though mischievous spirit. Yes, he had spooked me more than once..and caused more than one sleepless night as a child, grin, but he had never been malicious.
Though the thought of losing my spirit companion here disturbed me, I felt obligated to try and find out if he indeed needed assistance in crossing over.
He deserved the opportunity, at least, and it should not be my decision, simply because I wanted him to stay around, to deny it for him. So, I acted upon the choice I had made. Since I am a novice ghost hunter, I sought help from someone much more able to help than I. Through her abilities, she was able to confirm that my house spirit, though seemingly reluctant to leave at first, did indeed wish to be aided in crossing over to the next plane of existence. She also provided me with methods to aid him, for which I am very grateful.
My mother was then hospitalized, and I had been staying 24/7 with her. On my first night back home, I found an e-mail from Bonnie waiting for me, explaining that my friend did want to cross over, and wanted my support in doing so. I have to admit I cried. It may make me sound strange, but I don't care. This spirit is as real to me as those who are living, and it was like having to say good-bye to yet another family member. I was exhausted, and didn't think I would be able to effectively contact him that night. I made up my mind to try the following night, and made my way to bed.
A few minutes after I had laid down upon my bed, however, I became vividly aware that I was not alone. Though I could not physically see the spirit, I could feel his presence there beside me. It was very real and vivid, and unexpected. He approached my bed, and sat on the side of it. Knowing in my heart that he was ready, anxious to begin his new journey, I began speaking to him in my mind. I spoke to him as I would a family member who was leaving, sharing with him my sorrow for his parting, and my joy that he was heading for something wonderful and new. I also expressed my deep feelings of caring that I honestly felt. Then I began to imagine the corridor..a hallway, with a door at the end…the door to the new dimension, his new beginning. I could sense his eagerness, excitement in passing through that door….a bright clear light shown through…I imagined walking with him to the entrance, where I assumed others would be waiting to help him cross…but he surprised me yet again..so eager to go, he did not wait for assistance…but with a last flood of warmth that enveloped me, he boldly entered the light, which swallowed him up.
In honesty, I can not say what happened next. It has vanished from my conscious memory, but from that moment on, I was left with a great feeling of peace and inner happiness. The last thought impression that I received from him was that he would always be there for me…he had left his love and strength here to support me.
It was a wonderful feeling, and has not left me yet. I hope it never does. I do miss him, I won't deny it. But I am glad, very glad, that he has chosen to travel on into that next phase of existence, to complete his journey.
© Paulette Boyd
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